I don’t care WHAT people say. This movie was sweet. Okay. The skeptics say it’s just about some dude beating off on a pop star’s bed. But to me, that was just a vulgar interruption to the REAL message >>> bodyguards kick ass!!

Kevin Costner starts out by showing us that he can throw knives really well, because everyone knows that bodyguards are better when they can throw knives. When the old dude asks him to guard the hottie for a ton of money, he is hestant. Why? Because he learned in “How to be a hero 101” that heros must be reluctant. Although there is always a little bit of “I wish I was Clint Eastwood” in his demeneur, I’d have to say that I think this is one of Costner’s “toughest” movies. He is small and quiet, but can totally tear crap up when needed, as Whitney’s other (big) bodyguard found out the hard way. Plus, he was totally a wet blanket whenever everyone wanted to party, which I think is totally sweet. He didn’t give a crap about what the peons thought. He was on his own program.

In a way his coolness was like Michael Jackson. Does anyone .. I mean ANYone .. think he’s cool? No. The answer is “no”, regardless of what you might think. But he doesn’t care. He thinks he’s cool. Michael has taken “cool” to a whole new level that nobody else understands. So even though we all think he’s a loser, he is what I like to call, “supercool”. Same goes for bodyguards.

Then you’ve got the bad guys. Straight up, I can tell you that they weren’t even trying. They were acting on instructions. Think about it. First of all, did the one want to get a public kill or not? If so, then why the hell did he attack them in the log cabin. If not, why did he wait? Blowing the boat up was completely retarded. Why not blow up the house? That’s what I would have done. Or their car? And shooting at her with the camera gun was totally amateur. And the other guy was just a freak.

The only logical conclusion is that Whitney was Hinckley’s accomplice. Her sister finds out, but doesn’t want Whitney to know, so she hires that freak fan to do her dirty blackmail work. Because of his threats though, Whitney hires Costner for protection. Whitney then hires a man to track the freak down, and she finds that the trail leads to her own sister. She tells her scout to kill her sister while they’re at the cabin. The night at the cabin, her sister is drinking and has just had a good day with Whitney. She lies and tells Costner that she hired the freak to kill Whitney. Whitney hears them talking, but only makes part of it out. She goes to her room to await her sister’s impending assassination. After it is over, she instructs her killer that he will have to get Costner also, because he knows too much. However, he misses and is killed by Costner, which is an acceptable alternative for Whitney when she finds out that Costner knows nothing of the truth.

My favorite part of the movie was when Costner asks for a light and the guy hits him. Then Costner stands up and kills the guy by hitting him in the nose.