Walter, my best friend from grades 1-3.

Walt once punched a kid just to see him cry, he had a real mean streak and liked to bully around the other kids on the playground. He's famous for delivering a warball to the back of the head of anyone who questioned his authority.

Justin Bean, dirty rat.

This little jerk told on me for writing my name in the snow with urine, and trying to make Kelly fall in it.

Kelly Price, crayon eater.

Kelly had a wierd obsession with Audrey Hepburn. This lasted up to about 12th grade when she started emulating Courtney Love and dating hippy musicians.

Chenoa Abey, aka Blondie.

Chenoa's grandpa was supposedly a rich casino owner, but her family was dirt poor. My fondest memory of Chenoa was when she got caught making out with Justin behind the Remedial Reading building then pretended to be gay so she wouldn't get in trouble.

James Johnson, The Sleeper

Double J always fell asleep during class. The teachers said he had Low-Grade narcolepsy, so he didn't get into trouble for it. I think he was faking it.

Mr. Shroder, elementary gym teacher.

Mr. Shroder is famous for the Buzzkill, a 90-second aerobic workout that left even the fittest of 4th graders gasping for air.

Mr. Shroder left shortly after my 5th grade year as a result of a misunderstanding with one of the cooks.

Mr Tanner, 5th grade science teacher.

Mr. T, as we used to call him, really had a thing for plants. It wasn't until later did I realize what that wierd smell coming out of his office was.

Rob Smith, the transfer student.

Rob transferred here in the middle of the 5th grade, shortly after, Walter's reign of terror ended.

Nina, my girlfriend in the 6th grade.

Shortly after graudation from elementary school, Nina left me for an older man. Chuck, her new guy, always wore denim, and had a smiley face tatooed on his shoulder. He smoked a lot which was respectable.